Having a baby
Today? Tomorrow? Next week? Two months from now? Next Year? If you want to clarify the questions you and your wife are have in mind,we advise you to read it to the end. In this article, we’ll tell you a lot of things about being a parent.
As a family consultant, a psychotherapist who’s been talking to people for years about parenting is saying; “Among the things I’ve learned, I can tell you that it is not a sentence defined for the absolute “right” time to have a baby.” Your decisions about whether or not you have children are very personal and it’s obvious that there’s nothing to test.
Even if it’s an extreme request to make a child, you have to think for a long time about having a baby before you do it. Otherwise, there will be trouble in the later stages of the relationship.
Why now? Is it time?
Although there is no magic formula to try and think about the right time, there are some reasons that may be challenging. Some of these reasons: All your friends or coworkers have babies, you want to be grandma and grandpa,you’re old enough to start a family.
Psychotherapists wants you to ask yourself this question: “Am I in a good position in my life?” And “Am i ready for it?” According to Psychotherapists,most women don’t feel that they have to comply with a predetermined program. Some women choose to be a 20-Year-old mother, a lot of women wait longer. A lot of women think they’re really ready to love, look and feed a child. There are women who make the “motherhood” decision for some reasons. They want to be a mother because they can’t find a satisfying career or they are bored. Even worse, some women try to get pregnant to save a bad marriage.
Pregnancy and birth can radically fix your marriage life but parents need to find “the ideal time”. It’s easier to give yourself to your wife when you feel good about yourself and your conditions. According to a woman, seeing the outcome of the combination of herself and her partner is very impressive and very happy.
Los Angeles’s marriage and family therapist Carole Lieber Wilkins proposes that you ask yourself if you are ready for the events that come with your partnerhood. He asks “Are you ready for the end of independence for planning and building?” Making plans for a baby is usually a dream of being a child and It teachs you to know that you’re really an adult.
Is my partner ready?
Rosalyn Blogier, a psychotherapist and adoption consultant in Washington, DC says It’s not unusual for a couple to make themselves feel before the other. Sometimes it gives couples a balance, and it gives them a step ahead.If you have a hesitant partner,first of all we need to remove these concerns and do not let them to move forward.To find out how couples are working on possible differences in their timeline, it can ease conversations with close friends who have children.
You believe that your partner wants to be a parent but if you’re afraid your partner won’t be ready, you can make him wait for a while. If you’re planning on being at home with the baby or taking a long maternity leave, you’ll be thinking about the financial situation.Or we can think he is worried about reiterating his father’s failures and he may share us the experiences that he had experienced with his father. But with all of this, you might consider the possibility of being reluctant to share your partner’s love with a child. You need to talk to each of these concerns together and talk to a trusted therapist if necessary.
Is there any reason why we should wait?
Even when couples feel they’re ready to be parents, they should ask this question; “Is there any reason why we should wait?” Some couples may be concerned about financial or career security. You might be thinking questions like “Should we wait until we save the money to buy a house?” Or “Maybe we should wait until we’re in charge of our business cause we need a lot of energy and time to dedicate ourselves to the baby.” These kind of thoughts can prevent couples from having babies. But if this goes on for years your chance of fertility is decrease. You have to think in time and try not to be late to not care about disappointments or regret why we did not try it before about everything.
It’s not hard to figure out what kind of solution you can find in your thoughts of valid reasons and timing to delay your parenthood. Susan Medoff, professor of psychiatry at Rochester University in New York and a professor of social studies; “A lot of couples have “Social” reasons to wait.” One of those reasons are business and home issues. Unfortunately, a lot of people are missing the primary question they should ask themselves: “Is our relationship ready for the child?” Ideally, in order to answer that question, it must be a togetherness more than a year. Having kids early can put couples under a difficult responsibility. So you must choose a time to not avoid from responsibility.
When you think about your parenthood, try to imagine what it would be like to share your wife and personal time with a third person. This is not just any third person: 7/24 someone who needs you. If the relationship is a question like “fairness” or “work sharing” in this case, it may be a problem for parents.Think about it.Together,if you’re doing things like garbage emptying or washing dishes, when the baby comes, baby will put you under a greater responsibility and you may experience incompatibility. Even though it’s hard to admit, waiting for the right time to focus to a baby It could be the decision to make the best baby.
How do I know I’m gonna be a good parent?
We live in a society who idealizing parents and has tremendous pressure on couples to be model families. Check out parenting guide books series like “early childhood” and “sent the kid to school”. Things you will live is in the books you read.Based on these stories, you can learn what kind of parent you’re going to be. If there are children around you, you can try yourself by trying to spend time with them. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses as a parent. Just like any person in life has its strengths and weaknesses. The important thing is to be honest and accept a lot of emotions, such as indecision, anger, disappointment, joy, pride and satisfaction.
How am I supposed to face the changes that I’m going to live with my wife?
Pregnancy and parenting is never really something that you can really understand. If you want to find a solution to any problem, you should speak as a couple.You should think that getting pregnant is not easy and think about what you’re going to do after this. You can also get an idea of whether or not it’s appropriate to talk to your friends and family. If you are given an idea to wait,you need to know why and need to think about what you can do as a solution. Other than that, you have to think about what kind of challenges you’re going to get and how to fix it when you work. If you feel good about everything,Without losing any more time you must experience being a parent.